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Renee Dubeau

Finding your magic after life kicks your ass.

October News: A New Release and Where to Find Me this Fall.

As September comes to an end, I'd like to draw your attention to some special content on Medium. I've started sharing my family's suicide story in hopes to raise awareness for families and young people. The ripple effect that happens when someone dies in this tragic way is unimaginable. Breaking the ice on this heavy conversation isn't easy, but it can literally be lifesaving. If you or someone you love is having thoughts of suicide, please call 988 for support. Don't wait.

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How A Little Girl From The Trailer Applies For Graduate School – My 888 Word Essay For The Admissions Department’s Kind Consideration.

I want my granddaughters to hear the story one day of how their grandma got her graduate degree when she was forty-six years old, so she could go out and change the world, even though their great-great-grandmother told her college was a waste of time...

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An Open Letter to Every Teen Mom on Mother’s Day – Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was Eighteen and Pregnant.

Author's senior photograph, taken the summer before her first baby was born. "If you are a teen mom or young mom, I want you to know that it’s not going to be easy, but this journey is going to be... Continue Reading →

If We Do What We Did, We’ll Get What We Got.

New Year's things to ponder as we tiptoe carefully into 2022. Photo by Juliana Arruda on Unsplash I don't think any of us are the same as we were a couple short years ago. How could we stay the same... Continue Reading →

This Will be the Year of No More Kicking and Screaming.

Sometimes when things aren’t working we have to ask ourselves why we’re making it so hard. What attachments are causing our suffering? What expectations are we bringing to the situation that is creating our frustration, fear or disappointment? What would happen if we let go of control and just trusted that everything would work out exactly as it should, when it should and how it should? Could we save ourselves some stress? Could we be more present in our lives if we stopped worrying about tomorrow?

I Called Fourteen Hospitals Last Night, Looking for My Suicidal Friend.

“I love you. Thank you for always being there for me.” Her text message took my breath away. Somehow I knew she was trying to say, “goodbye”. I responded, but she didn’t reply. A mutual friend called to tell me... Continue Reading →

What If My Self-Loathing Had Nothing To Do With Me?

Peeling back the layers of my shame and self-sabotage. My mom died in February. To say we had a complicated relationship would be an understatement. While mother was in the hospital, my sister and I were scrambling to get our... Continue Reading →

I Chose to Stay.

1–800–273–8255 if you or someone you love is having thoughts of suicide. I’ve been there before. Depressed. Overwhelmed. Hopeless. I’ve felt alone, abandoned, unloved. I’ve been so deep in my own self-loathing I couldn’t see a way out. I couldn’t... Continue Reading →

Two Years Ago I Was Crowd Surfing At A Metal Show. Tonight I’m Blowing Bubbles For My Cat.

Maybe it’s middle age. Maybe it’s quarantine. I swear to all the gods it was an accident, and alcohol may have been a factor when I crowd surfed for the first and last time, at forty years old. I was... Continue Reading →

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